Proverbs 20th Century

Proverbs of the 20th Century


1 Home is where you hang your @.
2 The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3 A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4 You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5 Great groups from little icons grow.
6 Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7 C:\ is the root of all directories.
8 Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
9 Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10 The modem is the message.
11 Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12 The geek shall inherit the earth.
13 A chat has nine lives.
14 Don't byte off more than you can view.
15 Fax is stranger than fiction.
16 What boots up must come down.
17 Windows will never cease.
18 In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
19 Virtual reality is its own reward.
20 Modulation in all things.
21 A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22 There's no place like http://www.home.com
23 Know what to expect before you connect.
24 Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
25 Speed thrills.
26 Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.


Modern Proverbs

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

 

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