Jokes

Wednasday




JOKES 1

Doctor Advice


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can extend the life of your car by
driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits
and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are
these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than anefficient mechanism of delivering vegetables
to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is
also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable).And a pork chop can give you 100% of
your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.
**Brandy** is distilled wine, that means they take
the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
of the goodness that way. **Beer** is also made
out of grain. **Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. Ifyou have two bodies, your
ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried
these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're
permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables bebad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if
you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?*

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!












JOKES 2
6 most important men in a woman's life





Who are the six most important men in a woman's life???

1: he say's.......take off your clothes !!

2: he say's...... open wide !!

3: he say's...... you want it in the front or the back??

4: he say's.......you want teasing or blowing??

5: he say's.......once it's in you'll love it!!

6: he say's.......once it's out,you lose interest

SCROLL DOWN FOR SIX NAUGHTY MEN

































Guess who they are!!!!!!!!!

They are :

1.: A doctor.....he say's.......take off your clothes

2: A dentist.....he say's......open wide !!

3: The milkman.....he say's......you want it in the front or the back??

4: The Hairdresser.....he say's.......you want teasing or blowing??

5: The interior designer.....he say's.......once it's in, you'll love
it!!

6: The Banker.....he say's.......once it's out, you'll lose interest!

Naughty!!!!!
What r u all thinking ah????

 

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