Saving herself for marriage

Saving herself for Marriage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won't sleep with him because she's saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he's very hot and bothered, and he said, "Oh come on, just a feel" She said, "no, I'm saving myself for marriage."
They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, just one feel." She finally agreed, "Okay, just one feel, but that's all, just one, I'm saving myself for marriage." So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel.
Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, "Can't we please?" She of course states, "NO, I'm saving myself for marriage." He says, "Please, please?" and she says, "No, absolutely not, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He says, "How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?" She says, "No way, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He begs and pleads with her, "I promise, just the tip, no more, and we'll stop after that."
She finally gives in, "Okay, but just the tip, no more, and that's all." He says okay and pulls down her panties and puts the tip in... he so hot and ready that he can't control himself, he shoves it the whole way in and starts going to town...... she meanwhile is moaning and groaning and shouts, "OKAY, GO AHEAD, PUT IT THE WHOLE WAY IN!"
A little stunned, he says, "NO, absolutely not, a deals a deal!

Moral of the story: No means No , DO NOT TRY

 

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How to wake up everyday fresh

Put the Glass DOWN Every Day

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Once a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in
it. He held it up for all to see; asked the students,
"how much do you think this glass weighs?'50gms!'?...'100gms!'125gms¡¦....
The students answered, "We really don't know unless we weigh it."
The professor said, 'now, my question is: What would happen if I held it up
like this for a few minutes?'
'Nothing' the students said.
"OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?" the professor
asked.
"Your arm would begin to ache" said one of the students.
"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis;
have to go to hospital for sure! Ventured another student", all the
students laughed.
"Very good! But during all this, did the weight
Of the glass change?" asked the professor.
"No" was the reply of all the students
"Then what caused the arm to ache; the muscle to stress?" After a pause the
professor asked "Before my arm ache what should I do?"
The students were puzzled. "Put the glass down!" said one of the students.
"Exactly!" said the professor, "Life's problems are exactly like this. Hold
it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long
time; they begin to ache. Hold it even longer; they begin to paralyze you.
You will not be able to do anything." It's important to think of the
challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them
down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not
stressed, you wake up every day fresh; strong; can handle any issue, any
challenge that comes your way!

Remember friends to PUT THE GLASS DOWN EVERYDAY!

 

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Lateral Thinking

THINKING

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking... Just Check This Out!!!! Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. think like a wizard.

man 1. ------------ board Ans. = man overboard okay, lets see if u've got the hang of it.
stand 2. ------------ i Ans. = I understand OK?.... Got the drift? Let's try a few now and see how you fair?
3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ Ans. = reading between the lines
4. r road a d Ans. = cross road not having a good day now, are you? reedem yourself,
5. cycle cycle cycle Ans. = tricycle not easy to figure out ha !
0 6. ------------ M.D. Ph.D. Ans. = two degrees below zero c'mon give it a little thought !! knee 7. ------------ light Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light) u can prove u r smart by getting this one. ground 8. --------------- feet feet feet feet feet feet Ans. = six feet underground oh no, not again !!
9. he's X himself Ans. = he's by himself now u messing up big time.
10. ecnalg Ans. = backward glance not even close !!
11. death ..... life Ans. = life after death okay last chance ..................
12. THINK Ans. think big !! And the last one is real fundoo............
13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb.... Ans. long time no 'C' (see) now hows that for being a big time looser !!!!! "There are three ways to do something, There is a Good way, a Bad Way and My way of doing it.....!!!"

 

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Spielberg joke

Spielberg joke

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese your all the same," replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

 

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Why wedding ring should put on the forth finger
(lovers must have a look)
________________________________________

Please follow the below step, really god make this a miracle

1. Firstly, show your palm, centre finger bend and put together back to back.


2. Secondly, the rest 4 fingers tips to tips.


3. Games begin, follow the below arrangement, 5 finger but only 1 pair can split.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


4. Try to open your thumb, the thumb represent parents, it can be open, cause all human does go thru sick and dead. Which is our parents will leave us one day.

5. Please close up your thumb, then open your second finger, the finger represent brothers and sisters, they do have their own family which is too they will leave us too.

6. Now close up your second finger, open up your little finer, this represent your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they got they own living to live.

7. Nevertheless, close up your little finer, try to open your fourth finger which we put our wedding ring, you will be surprise to find that it cannot be open at all. Because it represent husband and wife, this whole life you will be attach to each other.

Real love will stick together ever and forever


Thumb represent parents

Second finger represent brothers & sisters

Centre finger represent own self

Fourth finger represent your partner

Last finger represent your children

 

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Smart DO's for everyone

Smart DO's for everyone 1 to 22
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Please learn and try to behave like that

ONE: Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully!
TWO: Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As one gets older,the conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE: Don't believe all you hear, don't spend all you have or sleep all you want.FOUR: When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE: When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX: Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN: Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT: Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE: Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN: In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN: Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE: Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN: When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN: Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.FIFTEEN: Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN: When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN: Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect forothers; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN: Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN: When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY: Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE: Spend some time alone.
TWENTY-TWO: Forget Yourself

 

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Counting 1 to10

Ro Jak was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3,4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1.
This is what he came up with.....
1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 goodness he run away.
10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down.
I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

 

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The Spoon

Last night, I went with some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around I saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired a consulting firm to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed! I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant... That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the end of our "you know what," we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
"Hhmmm...After you get it out, how do you put it back?" I asked.
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others... but I use the spoon."

 

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Three Weddings


Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.
On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming.
The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night."
She snuck by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laughing.
"That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt I should scream."
"You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. "Now why were you laughing?" she asked.
"You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered.
"True enough, honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. "Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
"Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full."

 

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Defination of Love and Marriage


DEFINITION OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE


1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence)
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelors Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage,it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in Asia, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
19. Marriage is a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL - MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says - MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married; then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is..

 

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Love story

Love Story 18SX
A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. So he went to see his boyfriend and asked him what to do about it. His boyfriend had a brilliant plan. He said: "Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home. I will be up in the tree waiting for you. If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not. And I will give the right answer to you and her."

The days went by and one Saturday afternoon he met his girlfriend again. They both went to that tree and he asked her to have sex. She refused. So he said to her: "And, my dear, if I ask God in heaven, would you follow his advise?" "Yes, I would" she said. So he asked: "Father in heaven can I have sex with my girlfriend?" And the voice from heaven said: "OK my friend, go ahead!" And so they had sex the first time.

But the boy asked his friend to do him this favour every week, and he did. But the last time when he asked God in heaven, the father answered: "My dear friend below, step aside and let your father in heaven have a go!"

............................................

 

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Relationship After 6 yrs


Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself.
So what are you thinking.. going to be married.. aur want to live still alone??????????

 

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What is politics

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now."The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

 

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Types of women


Types of women-Very interesting, have a look!

There are different types of women in this world but what we will disuss are entirely different from those you have seen. Hav a look & enjoy.

TYPES OF WOMEN

HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER. Congratulations, Here s Your Hidden Part :

RAM Woman: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access. SERVER Woman: Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman: She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............


..................................................

 

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Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have onearound.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never havesomething to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dressbeautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, theydon't believe you.

 

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Loyal Wife



Loyal Wife


There was a man who had worked all his life, saved all his money, and was a real miser.Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me, I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all his money in the casket with him.Well he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony just before they were ready to close the casket the wife say, "Wait a minute!"She had a box with her and she came over with the box and put it in the casket.The undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.Her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband?"The loyal wife replied, "Listen I'm a Christian I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put the money in with him.""You mean to tell me that you put all that money in the casket!""I sure did," said the wife, "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote a cheque, if he can cash it he can spend it.

 

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A dirty fork

A Dirty Fork


A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."

 

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What makes 100%


WHAT MAKES 100% ?


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26,
then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and,
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
and, look how far ass kissing will take you:
A-S-S--K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hardwork and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass Kissing will put you over the top!

 

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