Beware of Con E-Mail

CON EMAIL

Subject: Very Important Mail Please Read Carefully & Reply

For your kind attention,

This letter is to seek your co-operation as a foreigner and to be my
partner and business associate for investment purposes. My sincere
apologizes if this mail message does not suit your personal or business
ethics. My name is Hon. Boone Pickens, an attorney to a deceased Immigrant
and property magnate who was based in the U.K & Spain, Also referred herein
as my client.

On the 25th of July 2000, my client, his wife and their two children died
in the Air France plane crash bound for New York in their plan for a world
cruise and vacation. Since then, I have been managing his properties here
in Spain and U.K, he also sold some, brokered by me and the money paid was
deposited into his account. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating
the money and property left behind by my client for investment in your
country before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by his bank.
Particularly, the bank has issued me a deadline notice to provide any of
his next of kin/ family relatives or have the account confiscated by the
end of Dec 2006. My late client has an account valued at USD15.5million
(Fifteen Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars). Information gathered
from the Department of immigration that he was also single on entry into
the U.K & Spain. I have made and placed severally official enquires
investigating and searching for his closest family members and next of kin
at his country's Embassy and Consulate office in Madrid Spain & U.K but no
response or claims have been made so far more than six (6) year and his
country's Embassy and Consulate office in Madrid Spain and U.K. confirmed
he has no closest or known Family members, Next of kin or Relatives
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating any of his relatives or next of
kin for some time now, and with the bank giving me a deadline, I now seek
your consent to present you as the next of kin and family business partner
of the deceased, so that the proceeds of this account valued at USD15.5
million (Fifteen Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars) can be paid to
your account for investment purposes. I have all necessary information and
documents that will be used to back up our claim for investment.

All I require is your honest co-operation and reliability to enable us
sees this deal through for investment purposes in your country please. It
is a 100% guaranteed risk free transaction, that this will be executed
under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the
law. Send me your full names and address, telephone and fax numbers to
enable us discuss further and immediately move into actions.
Reach me directly at (boonepickens@zwallet.com) or telephone number +34 695
880 567, I look forward to hearing form you as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,
Hon. Boone Pickens

WARNING: DO NOT BE GREEDY OR YOU END UP POORER

 

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Daughter- in- Law

New Generation daughter-in-Law

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It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in-law
arrives in the family, everything changes.
Some daughters-in-law are well trained and well mannered....They don't
come to change the family, they are here to.....(READ ON !)

The new wife (progressive woman of today), was being welcomed
at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech;

"My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family.
Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine.
"No, I will never do that, never in a million years."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the father-in-law.
"What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws)
Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND
Those who used to clean should continue cleaning!!!
"And what are you here for?" enquired the mother-in-law.


"AS FOR ME, I'M HERE JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON!!!!!"

 

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I Love You in 100 Languages

Learn to say I LOVE YOU in 100 Languages


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English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibek
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creole - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapau
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te ubesk
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when
signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

 

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Made in Japan

Made in Japan



A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the Penang International airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was getting impatient.
The following is their conversation on the way to the airport.
A Toyota Camry overtook t he taxi.....zoom....
Jap: Look ...look ...Toyota!! .........very fast!!!.... made in Japan!Proton...no good.... made in Malaysia.
Driver: yah....
After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom.
Jap: look.... look.... Nissan!!!..... very good!! very fast! made in Japan! Proton.... no good.... made in Malaysia
Driver: yah....yah...
After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom. !
Jap: look.... look... Honda!!.... very GOOD!!....very fast!!....madein Japan! Proton...no good...made in Malaysia
Driver: yah...yah...yah....!
Arriving at the airport,the Jap is about to pay the taxi driver.
Jap: How much?
Driver: RM150/-
Jap: Oh... very expensive..... you overcharge ! !
Driver: Noooo .... look .... look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!....very fast!.... Made in Japan!

 

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Hokkien Language

Hokkien Lang

This is what happens if your hokkien is not good enough.
This person went to a coffee shop with his friends for a drink.

One peculiar habit of this friend is that he doesn't drink any
beverage with Milk.
He approached the counter and the uncle there asked him
in hokkien,'lee ai, lim, see mee?' (What do you want to drink?) Not
knowing that " teh-o " (means tea without milk), my friend said
rather slowly, "TEH...MAI...LOK...GU...NI " (tea , don't put milk).

And......guess what he got?? He got all the 3 types of drink!
"teh", "milo " and "milk". And the worst thing was all these 3 types
of beverages contain MILK!

Holland Rd

A man new in Singapore boards a bus. He asks the bus driver to
inform him when the bus has reached Holland Road. After a while, the
passenger heard the driver yelled out, "Hollan Lok! Hollan Lok!".
So, thinking the bus has reached his destination point, he got down
the bus.
However, to his surprise he saw a road sign stating the name of
another road. Why?????????????? Because the bus driver said
in Hokkien to the passengers in the crowded bus : "Let people go
down, let people go down!!!!" (Hor lang loh! Hor lang loh!")

 

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Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes


[English phrase] ------------ [Chinese Interpretation]
Are you harboring a fugitive? -- Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man -- Dum Gai
Small Horse -- Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? -- Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? -- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum
I got this for free. -- Ai No Pei
I am not guilty. -- Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer. -- Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. -- Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived. -- Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight. -- Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile. -- Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu

 

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How to prevent Handbags Snatch

Handbags that scared Snatch Thief away:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Handbags snatched by thieves is reported daily in the local newspaper,
To prevent this from happening OMG Enterprise is inventing handbags
that will scared snatch thieves away

 

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The Perfect Man



The Perfect Man

What I Want in a Man, My Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

 

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Malaysian Drivers of Today

Can you spot a Malaysian Driver in this picture?

Malaysian Drivers

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: IPOH driver

2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with
cigarette: KEPONG driver.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across
all lanes of traffic: DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on
accelerator: JOHOR driver.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf
cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the
lap: BANGSAR driver.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake,
quivering in terror: FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.

7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel,
talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on
steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the
Federal Highway!!!

8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest,
alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on
brake, throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window:
KARAK HIGHWAY ; KUANTAN driver.

9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude,
rear window stickers read "Make my day", beer cans on floor, wedding
ribbon still attached to antenna: CONSTRUCTION SITE....PUCHONG driver!

10.One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One
leg on the dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can
in the middle ~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in
fact, driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh..... this is a heaven for
drivers......welcome to PENANG!

11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on
the windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5
seconds. WOMAN DRIVER!

 

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Fisherman and Businessman

Fisherman and Businessman
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Message: What do you really hope to achieve in life ? Read this story and
you may find that what you are always hoping to achieve, you may already
have
it.

There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a
small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small
boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught a
quite number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy.

The American was really impressed and ask the fisherman, "How long does
it
take you to catch so many fishes " ? The fisherman reply " Oh, just a short
while"

"Then why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more?"
The
businessman was astonished.

The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole
family
" he says.

The businessman then asked "So, what do you do for the rest of the day
then?"

The fisherman reply " Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go
out
to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids.
In
the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening
comes,I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we played guitar,
sing and dance throughout the night. My day was ever so complete and
carefree."

The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a
suggestion
to the fisherman. I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University,
specialises in business management. I could help you to
become a more successful person. From now on you have to spend more time at
sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have save
enough
money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more
fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit
more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up
your own company, your very own production plant for
canned food and do direct selling to your distributors. At that time, you
will
have moved out of this village and to Mexico city, and then expand your
operation to LA, and finally to New York city, where you can
set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches. "

The fisherman asks, " So, how long would that take ? " The businessman
reply
" About 15 to 20 years " The fisherman continued " And after that ? " The
businessman laugh heartily " After that, you can live like a
king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and
float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your
income
will be coming in by the millions!! "

The fisherman ask " And after that ? " The businessman says " After that,
you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village,
wake
up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then
return home to play with the kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your
wife,
and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the
guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!! "

The fisherman was puzzled " Isn't that what I am doing now ?? "

So, what does one really hope to achieve in life, do we really need to
work
so hard in life ? What do you hope to accomplish in the end?

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to LOVE and be LOVED in
return."

 

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Important Things to do during Emergency

*EMERGENCY*

The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.*
If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

*Subject:
Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?*
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, cal l someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!"*


Subject:
Hidden Battery power
Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

AND

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phones get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

 

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Difficult Tests

 

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New Oxford Dictionary

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.


Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

 

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Easy & Difficult

EASY &
DIFFICULT

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

 

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How good are you in bed?


How good are you in bed?

According " to studies", the 1st letter of your 1st name reveals your sexual identity-

-A-
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business! With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.
-B-
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an _expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your _expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.
-C-
You are a very social individual; you must be able to talk to your sex partner before. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.
-D-
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in you're involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. The eccentric and unusual, having a free and open mind stimulates you.
-E-
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bed mate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book.)
-F-
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once comitted, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favourite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.
-G-
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of erotic stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active sexually that is, when you find the time. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to a lover, but no trouble getting close sexually.
-H-
You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.
-I-
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual _expression. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.
-J-
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense.. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You also enjoy mothering your mate.
-K-
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the well. You require loving & cuddling to know that you're being appreciated.(wow i like this one)
-L-
You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's saviour. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life, nor of your sexual fantasies.
-M-
Your a fucking freak.(dale dale dale lol)
-N-
You are seductive, self-contained, and yet secretive. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.And when that person does come... THEY WILL NEVER FORGET ABOUT YOU!
-O-
You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.
-P-
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; a good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.
-Q-
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.
-R-
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not bed, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.
-S-
You are totally fucking marvellous!
-T-
You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily.. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased.. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.
-U-
You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant gratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own.
-V-
You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Swing someone means psyching him/ her out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him/ her tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on, even though you yourself may not be a participant.
-W-
You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.
-X-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.
-Y-
You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgo the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an open, stimulating, romantic bedmate.
-Z-
For you, it is business before pleasure. If you are in any way bothered by career, business, or money concerns, you find it very hard to relax and get into the mood. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never lose control of your emotions. You are very careful and cautious before you give your heart away and your body, for that matter. Once you make the commitment, though, you stick like glue

 

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Anger Bar in Nanjing China

Bar allows stressed out customers to beat up staffBy Wu Jiao (China Daily)

NANJING:
A new bar in Nanjing, capital of East China's Jiangsu Province, is offering an outlet for the stresses and strains of modern life.
Customers will be able to pay money to beat up staff, smash glasses, shout and scream, and, if these anger management techniques don't work, receive psychological counselling.
Rising Sun Anger Release Bar was set up in April by Wu Gong, a 29-year-old man from neighbouring Anhui Province.
Wu said he got his inspiration from similar bars in Japan, but felt a personal need for the type of service after his experiences as a migrant worker in Guangdong Province.
The bar employs 20 "models," well-built men in their 20s and 30s, who are available to be hit. Customers can specify how they want the models to appear they can even dress as women and then they are free to give them a sound beating.
Wu assured China Daily that models are fully equipped with protective gear, and the bar gives them regular physical training so they are prepared for attack.
The bar has four psychological counsellors, who are in fact psychology students from local universities.
The bar charges 50 to 300 yuan (US$6.25-37.5) for every customer in accordance with their demands.
"With rent of 6,000 yuan (US$760) per month, we can just about make ends meet," Wu said, but he added that he was confident about success as his customer list was growing.
Wu said that at the moment most of his customers were women, especially those working in service and entertainment companies such as KTV or massage parlours.
Public opinion was divided over the bar.
"Violence will not solve your problems. If people really feel angry, they should adjust their lifestyles or seek psychological treatment," said Liu Yuanyuan, who works for Siemens.
"Pressure in today's society comes from just about anywhere, from family or from work, from your boss or from your girlfriend. We get no place to vent anger. The idea of beating someone decorated as your boss seems attractive," said Chen Liang, a salesman.
Zhang Yong, an employee of Xiaoran Psychological Consultation Centre in Nanjing, admitted that "no matter how civilized people have evolved to be, some still find that violence is the best way to get rid of their burning rage. The existence of the bar, despite its controversial business scope, reflects the demands of a large proportion of people."
Zhang warned that as the business the bar is engaged in is not subject to any regulations, customers should be careful about overcharging or hurting the models.
The city's industrial and commercial administration bureau told China Daily that Wu's bar has been registered as a dancing venue, and there is no mention in the licence about anger release.
"He applied for the business of anger release but we would not give permission. It has never been listed as a proper business in this country," said an employee surnamed Wang

 

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Yearly Appraisal

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21 st Century Lifelessness



21st CENTURY LIFELESSNESS..!!

Our communication - Wireless,
Our telephone - Cordless,
Our cooking - Fireless,
Our youth - Jobless,
Our food - Fatless,
Our labor - Effortless,
Our conduct - Worthless,
Our relation - Loveless,
Our attitude - Careless,
Our feelings - Heartless,
Our education - Valueless,
Our Follies - Countless,
Our arguments - Baseless,
Our bosses - Hopeless,
Finally, Our Salary - Veryless,
This Blog - Meaningless,

AND

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The person who is reading it - useless....!! !!

 

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What is " X "

Try to solve this

‘X’ is impossible for God

‘X’ is above sky

‘X’ is more important than love/ f’ship

‘X’ is more valuable than money.

If we eat ‘X’ we’ll die

…….Guess What is ……………‘X’……………?

 

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Always look for simple solutions

Difference between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions
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Case 1

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They dev eloped a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

And what did the Russians do...?? They used a pencil.

Case 2
One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soapbox, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soapbox that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly! line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap t o the delivery department. For some reason, one soapbox went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral:Always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problems

 

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Be Sure to Cancel Your Credit CardsBefore you Die


It's not just the government... Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member : "So what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you --- the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer info given)
Citibank: " Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

 

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New Red Hat


: NEW RED HAT


An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her NEW RED HAT tight
so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are
not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down,
then back up at the man and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

 

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Tomatoes

Tomatoes
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An unemployed man is desperate to support
His family of a wife and three kids.
He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm
And easily passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him,
"You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we Can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."
Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.
To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without anE-mail address y ou can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."
Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. Crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours heSells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrivesHome that night with several bags of groceries for his family.
During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.
Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.
At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two S ons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.
By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.
Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars.
Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.
Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mailAddress in order to send the final documents electronically.
Whe n the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned,"What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"
"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour."

 

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