Make your own fruitcake this festive seasons
l cup water
l cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice, nuts
1 gallon whiskey....
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink...repeat
Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still o.k......cry another tup...Turn off mixer
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit...Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Who cares.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees..
Don-t forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?