Fingers are better



101 Reasons Why Fingers Are Better!


.You don't have to smile at them afterwards

.You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them

.They don't get tired before you do...

.You always know where your fingers have been

.For variety, you have ten to choose from

.They are also useful out of bed

.You can stop if you want to

.Your fingers don't want to meet your family

.Your fingers don't get jealous

.Your fingers don't smell

.Your fingers won't just fall asleep afterwards

.Your fingers don't want you to meet their family

.You don't get jealous of your fingers

.Your fingers don't mind if you fall asleep afterwards

.Your fingers won't let you down

.Your fingers don't want to watch a football match instead

.Your mother won't critisize your fingers

.You can't get pregnant from your fingers

.Your fingers don't need batteries

.People aren't surprised to find you have them

.Fingers don't need adaptors to covert American plugs to English ones (I've heard this can be a problem.)

.They don't shrink afterwards

.You always have them with you

.You can chew on them when you are nervous

.You can use more than 1 at a time

.They are agile

.They'll never leave you

.You don't have to make your fingers coffee in the morning

.You can also use them to clean the wax out of your ears

.They want to when you want to

.They don't take up half the bed at night

.They are easy to clean

.If the ones you are using get tired, you can switch to some of the others

.They don't demand acrobatics in bed

.They don't want to try out stuff they heard from friends

.You can use them to try out stuff you heard from friends without worrying about it going horribly wrong

.They don't look worried when you want acrobatics in bed

.Your fingers don't give you bite-marks (Addition unless you like bite-marks)

.You can share them with a friend

.Fingers don't cheat on you

.Fingers don't have hidden wifes,girlfriends,husbands,boyfriends or children etc.

.Your fingers don't yelp when you give them bite marks

.For variety you can paint them any colour you want

.It's not suspicious if you take them to the toilet with you

.Since they come on 2 hands, you can use them on 2 places at the same time

.They write your e-mail for you

.You can use them for net-sex when company is required

.They're compatible with a wide range of leather goods and electrical appliances

.No one ever fell in love with their fingers

.They'll change the video channel for you

.You can use them to write down your fantasy and share it with people

.They won't ask Am I the first

.You can type with them (although I'd rather like to see a man... whistle)

.They won't be disgusted when you have your period

.They don't snore, fart, burp or have smelly breath

.They don't want you to swallow

.They don't whistle after other, better-looking women or men

.They don't care if your hair is a mess.

.You don't have to tell them how you'd like it

.They don't brag how great they are

.They don't cost you time, money or patience

 

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MARKETING STRATEGIES:




A Professor at one of the conference was explaining marketing concepts to
students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I
am rich. Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing.

2. You’re at a party with bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friend goes up to her and pointing at you says: “he’s very rich.
Marry him!” – That’s Advertising.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say” “hi, i’m very rich. Marry
me.” – That’s Telemarketing.

4. You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the
door (of her car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her
ride and then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” – That’s
Public Relations.

5. You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
say: “you are very rich! Can you marry me?” – That’s Brand Recognition.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I
am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. –
That’s Customer Feedback.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I
am very rich marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband, -- that’s
Demand & Supply Gap.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say anything, another person comes and tells her: “I’m rich. Will you
marry me?” And she goes with him – that’s Competition eating into your
Market Share.

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: “I’m rich, marry me!” Your wife arrives. – That’s Restriction for
entering New Markets.[/b]

 

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Hot Jokes




Interview For Secretary Position



A boss has to interview four girls for secretary position.
He thought of a question and asked each one of them: ''A woman normally has
two mouths. What's the difference between the two?

The first one answered: One can talk but the other can't.

Second answered: one is vertical and the other is horizontal.

Third answered: one is hairy, the other isn't.

The last one answered: one is for my use and the other is for my boss.

Boss: You're hired!

 

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5 Stages of Love




Five Stages of Love?


Let's break down love into five stages: (1) attraction, (2) romance, (3) passion, (4) intimacy, & (5) commitment.

Stage 1. ATTRACTION - a positive response to a person beyond friendship. This can further be broken down into two areas: (a) physical attraction & (b ) emotional attraction.
A. Physical Attraction - happens when your body reacts to another person. Heart rate increases; temperature rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens; etc. This is the most superficial of "loves" on one level, but one of the most powerful on another. It represents the first contact.
B. Emotional Attraction - develops next if the circumstances are right. After being drawn to a person physically, you then begin to converse. If you find you have things in common -- hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common ground -- then an emotional attraction starts to form. An emotional attraction can also occur even when a physical attraction does not. And in this case, the bond may even be stronger between the two who connect, since no preconceived notions based on physical appearance has occurred
Let's break down love into five stages:
(1) attraction,
(2) romance,
(3) passion,
(4) intimacy, &
(5) commitment.


Stage 2. ROMANCE - essentially an act of trying to influence or gain favor of another by lavishing attention or gifts upon them. There are two type of romance: (a) selfish romance & (b ) selfless romance.
(A ) Selfish Romance - occurs when you do romantic acts solely for the purpose of gaining something for yourself -- like to get gifts, to impress someone else, or even simply for sexual favors whether your partner is interested or not.
(B ) Selfless Romance - occurs when you do romantic acts for the enjoyment and pleasure of your partner. You receive your enjoyment and pleasure through their happiness.
Selfish romance (& love) will quickly die out. Selfless romance (& love) will endure. Because romance is an "act," many couples who have been together a long time take it for granted. With a conscious effort, it can be rekindled.

Stage 3. PASSION - a desire for another person, which has grown to an intensity that can't be ignored. This is often where an emotional relationship turns into a physical relationship. The passion stage is very important. It's a plateau.
From here, the relationship will fork into two roads, and the couple must decide which path to take. The relationship will either burn itself out or will move onto the next stage.


Stage 4. INTIMACY - a close association with another person of the deepest nature. You share you thoughts, your feelings, your dreams. In true intimacy, there is nothing that you cannot tell this person (though we often hesitate because of our own unfounded fears).
Intimacy is not total in one swoop. It is a developing process, which never ends. If you can't establish intimacy with your partner, your relationship may work for a while, but is unlikely to endure throughout the years.


Stage 5. COMMITMENT- a pledge to remain true to your mate throughout good and bad times. Commitment is easy when times are good. Commitment can be extremely difficult when times are bad. Learn to ride out the bad times.
If you've made it this far, why give up? Listen to each other, be willing to compromise, and remember why you got together in the first place.

 

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