THE POOR MAN'S VACATION
Financial Crisis Jokes
1) If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year
ago, you would have $49 left. With Fannie Mae, you would have
$2.50 left of the original $1,000. With AIG, you would have less
than $15 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer
one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for
the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. Based
on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.
2) What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
3) Q: Why are all MBAs going back to school?
A: To ask for their money back.
4) I had a cheque returned earlier. "Insufficient Funds" Mine or the banks?
5) Masked man holding a bank cashier up with a gun. Says: 'I don't want any money - I just want you to start lending to each other...
6) How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.
7) What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
8) Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!"
9) What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common? They both have frozen assets
10) What's the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW's
11) Quote of the day (from a trader):
"This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."