A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'
'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'
'How about transportation?' the father asked.
'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy answered.
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'
'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied. 'We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!'
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?" She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it." "Why?" he asked. She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.
He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken." He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches; I'm starting to get feathers Down there too!" She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her! She said... "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIBLETS!!!"
A stern father was taking his little son Johnny for a walk in the park when a honeybee landed on a rock in front of them. The boy stepped forward and crushed the bee with his shoe. The father said, "That was cruel, and for being cruel, you'll get no honey for a whole year."
Later, Johnny deliberately stepped on a butterfly. "Just for that," the father said, "you'll have no butter for a year."
When they returned home, Johnny's mother was fixing dinner. As she walked into the kitchen, she spied a cockroach and immediately crushed it. Johnny looked at his father impishly and asked, "Shall I tell her, Dad, or will you?"