How to Stay Happy Always

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Problems may come but u must take it as a 'ROYAL CHALLENGE'

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Otherwise people will call u an 'OLD MONK'

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And stick a 'BLACK LABEL' to u.


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But u must fight like 'NAPOLEAN',

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Live like a 'BAGPIPER',

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Strut around like 'JOHNNY WALKER',

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Work till '8PM',

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Think like a 'DIRECTOR SPECIAL'


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.....And do not forget the cute little 'BLACK DOG'

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Then your life will be like an 'IMPERIAL BLUE'

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And if you do above things there will be good value for your 'SIGNATURE '


CHEERS!!!!

 

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SAve the planet



They're a Czech company who thinks that "Any reason is a good reason," even if you're only taking out the recycling bin in hopes of running into your hot, busty, neighbor.




Find more videos like this on AdGabber


After watching that video, do you feel more like recycling? Is the power of cleavage really so great that it can inspire men to want to save the planet?

 

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Wedding Invitation



Wedding invitations are a popular way to lighten the sometimes much too serious mood associated with getting married. They are perfect for casual, somewhat informal, weddings where there is a tongue-in-cheek vibe to the act of committing yourself to one person for… well, eternity!

 

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How to Know if You're Gay

Boys look to your fingers!


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EXTRA EXTRA

10 reasons why gay marriage shouldn't be legal




01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

 

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Grandpa in hospital




A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital.
" How are you grandpa? he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"

"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"

"No problem, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light."

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says,
" I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"

"Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works
wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed

 

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A Guy with Class



There was this prostitute who had three different rates based on the following three conditions:
1. $10.00 to have sex on the grass.
2. $20.00 to have sex on the couch.
3. $30.00 to have sex on the bed.
One day, a Mexican approaches the prostitute and slaps a $10 bill on the table. They proceed to have sex on the grass.
Later that day, an American approaches the prostitute and slaps a $20 bill on the table. They proceed to have sex on the couch.
Still later that day, an INDIAN approaches the prostitute and slaps $30 on the table. Excited to see such a big spender, the prostitute said, "Finally, a guy with class..."
The Indian responds, "Class my ass... three times on the grass. "

 

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How to raise a child?

So for those of you who are raising children and have absolutely no idea how to do so, I hereby offer you a quick tip sheet of handy parenting advice. I hope you'll find this information as useful as I have...


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1) Always store the baby in a cool dry place. If you're going to keep your newborn in a closet, be sure to include some cedar wood chips. Not only will this prevent moths from attacking your baby, it will get the baby's wrinkles out faster.

2) At a very young age, you should tattoo your phone number on the baby's foot. This way, if you lose your baby when you're out clubbing, people will know how to reach you.

3) Teething is a very painful process for young infants. Bubble gum is an excellent remedy.

4)Baby carriers are very expensive. Personally, we use a Baby Bjorn. However, if you want to save some money, you can just use a regular backpack. Just be sure to poke some holes in the backpack before putting your baby in there.

5) Newborns tend to sleep. A lot. However, too much sleep can be a bad thing. If your baby is sleeping more than 48 hours solid, you should probably call your pediatrician.
Babies drool and spit up a lot. If you want to keep them from staining your suit or all your tailored shirts, put little cotton balls in their mouth when you burp them. Don't worry. They can still breathe. That's what nostrils are there for.

6) Babies need to be washed a lot. Some people even wash their babies every two weeks! Learn to multi-task. If you're washing your car, put a snorkel on your baby's head. Then, you can just hose the baby down at the same time. Also, if you have cats, cover your baby in catnip. The kitties will lick your baby clean in no time!

7) The best way to tell if your baby needs a new diaper is to throw it up against the wall. If it sticks, change the diaper. If not, you're good to go for at least another few days!

 

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You are what you eat!

No offense, but why American Women love Fast Food ?
No wonder they put on weight.

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34 percent of American women are obese. Japanese women weight in at a teeny tiny 2.9%. This is quite intriguing when you consider what a food obsessed culture Japan really is. And yet, the emphasis is on small portions, healthy ingredients, and very little cream or butter.

 

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Getting Married? Think Again!

Men should never marry a woman for her beauty alone. That is rather like buying a house just because you like the way it's painted.

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One of the safest ways to assure a happy marriage is to be sure that the wife is a treasure and the husband a treasury.

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Single people die earlier. Marriage is healthier. If you're looking for a long life and a slow death, get married.

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Some women marry men thinking they'd be real comforters, only to discover they were merely wet blankets.

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The average person's life consists of 20 years of their mother asking them where they're going, 40 years of having their spouse ask the same question, and in the end, all the mourners wonder, too.


The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.

Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out To Lunch, Think It Over."

 

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Choosing a wife




A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.




The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.


Again, the man is impressed.




The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.




Obviously, the man was impressed.




The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.




Then.......................

he married the one with the biggest boobs.





Men are like that, you know.







There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 

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Things We Can Learn From A Dog

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1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.

5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

7. Run, romp, and play daily.

8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9. Be loyal.

10. Never pretend to be something you're not.


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11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

18. No matter how often you are criticized, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

 

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Anti Theft Idea



This is how to prevent your Air Condition from being stolen
Smart idea from damm smart people

Prevention is better than cure!

 

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The Real Batman

“ Thank you for calling, this is BATMAN”

"Who am I speaking to?.."
"Batman..."

" May I have your name again pls?"
"My name is Bat-man..."

"Trying to be funny huh?!. What is your surname?.."
"Supar-man..."

"I want to speak to your manager... !"


Scroll down…..

















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