Choose between TV or Handphone




Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim,

curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,

Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have..



Last but not least........

TV do not have virus, but HP yes..........have VIRUS............... once get it, sooner you will go to heaven or hell.

so better choose TV

 

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Berlin policemen protest by swimming in full uniform

Employees of the Berlin police swim in full uniform at a open water swimming pool in Berlin June 20, 2008, during a police union Gewerkschaft der Politizi (GdP) protest, themed "the water is up to our neck", to demand better salaries





 

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You drive and I repair

Here's a Happy hour car in Austria.






 

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Naked Cowboy

Robert John Burck, 37, plays guitar on the Times Square in New York City, the United States, June 18, 2008. Robert Burck, better known as the Naked Cowboy, whose routine consists of playing guitar wearing only cowboy boots, a hat, and a pair of briefs, has become a prominent but disputed fixture on the Times Square. He charges two dollars on every tourist who wants to take a picture with him.









 

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Try Again



A n eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has
missed her period for two months. Very worried, the
mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy
kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was
the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a
mature and distinguished man with grey hair,
impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps
out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the
mother and the girl, and tells them, 'Good morning,
your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal
family situation, but I'll take charge.'
If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores,
a townhouse, a beach villa and a $2,000,000 bank
account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of
factories and a $5,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, it will be a factory and $2,000,000
each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do
you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and
tells him, 'Then you try again.'

 

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Jobs for graduates

Graduate must not be choosy in finding jobs!

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If you have nothing to do

The goal of the game is simple - you need to completely clear the field. Clicking on any tile to begin



[Upload your own video]

 

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Smart Weight Loss Plan



A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me.”
Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
“Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most rigorous program.”
“Absolutely,” he replies, “I haven’t felt this good in years.”

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The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, you are mine!!!”

He lost 63 pounds that week.

 

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Hong Kong Watermelon

Watermelon is good for your health.
The more you eat it the more smoother your skin become.
It also made you look younger.







 

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Japanese Watermelon




Would you buy a watermelon for USD$6100?
A rare type of watermelon -– the black Densuke, to be exact -– was auctioned off in northern Japan today for a record 650,000 yen (that’s USD$6,100). That makes it the most expensive watermelon ever sold in the country — and possibly in the world.
The 17-pound black melon is considered the cream of the crop, one of only 65 from the first harvest of the season. The fruit is grown only on the northern island of Hokkaido, adding to its value.




Incidentally, the first square watermelons come to do the same Japanese - that they were conveniently stored in the refrigerator.





 

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That's Life




God had created the donkey

and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.

God created the dog


and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "
The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
" God granted his wish.

God created the monkey


and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live
20 years. "
The monkey answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.


Finally God created man ...

and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals..
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."

Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish

And since then, man lives
20 years as a man ,

marries and spends
30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life.

 

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Problem Solving - The Japanese Way



The Japanese have a great liking for fresh fish. But the waters close to
Japan have not held many fish for decades. So, to feed the Japanese population,
fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.

The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring back the fish. The longer it took them to bring back the fish, the stale they grew.

The fish were not fresh and the Japanese did not like the taste. To solve
this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would
catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther
and stay longer.

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh
and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish
brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They
would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little
hashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.
Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the
fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese
preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. The fishing industry
faced an impending crisis! But today, it has got over that crisis and has emerged as
one of the most important trades in that country! How did Japanese fishing
companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan ?


To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the
fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark
eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are
challenged and hence are constantly on the move. And they survive and arrive
in a healthy state!They command a higher price and are most sought-after. The
challenge they face keeps them fresh!


Humans are no different. L. Ron Hubbard observed in the early 1950's: "Man
thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment. "
George Bernard Shaw said: " Satisfaction is death!"

If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges
keep you energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are
alive! Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Do not postpone a
task, simply because its challenging. Catch these challenges by their horns and
vanquish them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too
numerous, do not give up. Giving up makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help. Don't create success and revel in
it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make
a difference.

 

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