Newlyweds Get To Know Each Other



A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’
He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’
So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.
One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
She said, ‘That was incredible!’
He said, ‘I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.’
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths.
After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.
He said, ‘That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?’
‘No,’ she said, ‘I was a prostitute in Memphis but I worked both sides of the Mississippi.’

 

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Complete Breath Exercises

COMPLETE BREATH EXERCISES FOR BIGGER BREAST

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1. Sit up straight. Exhale.

2. Inhale and, at the same time, relax the breast muscles. Feel as though the breast is filling with air.

3. After filling the breast, keep inhaling. Fill up the both the breast. Feel your breast expand.

4. Hold the breath in for a moment, then begin to exhale as slowly as possible.

5. As the air is slowly let out, relax your breast. Begin to pull your breast in to force out the remaining breath.

6. Close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing.

7. Relax your face and mind.

8. Let everything go.

9. Practice about 5 minutes.

 

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Chinese Food

Chinese food has special symbolism: mostly wishes of happiness, longevity, or fertility.
Chicken is also popular at Chinese New Year, symbolizing a good marriage and the coming together of families (serving the bird whole emphasizes family unity).

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Chicken serve during Chinese Wedding

 

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How to feel good?

Human and Animal are alike.
Both needs to feel good at time.

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When you are feeling blues !!


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Even Animal know how to feel good!!!

 

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The meaning of WIFE

Husband asks , “Do you know the meaning of WIFE??

It means-”Without Information Fighting Everytime”

Wife replies,” No, It means- “With Idiot For Ever !!!”

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A Girl's Determination

This is how a young Russian girl find her lost handphone in China!!
She really has courage and determination

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Unusual Wrestling Move in Beijing Olympic

An unusual and funny wrestling move. I wonder how effective it is.
Who is the real winner?

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Beijing Olympics Watermelon

No other fruit says summer like the subtly crunchy, thirst quenching watermelon. Although watermelons can now be found in the markets throughout the year, the season for watermelon is in the summer when they are sweet and of the best quality.
Watermelon is an excellent source of vitamin C. It is also a very good source of vitamin A and vitamin B6. In addition, watermelon is a good source of thiamin, potassium and magnesium.
Good source of energy for Olympics Sportmen and Sportwomen in China



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Michael Phelps Creates a World Record

Phelps continues run to record gold haul at Beijing Olympics
Phelps made it eight gold medals in eight races, each in world record time

Why is getting GOLD so easy for Phelps??

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Japanese Funny Olympics

Very nice 3D animation
Japanese are very creative

 

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World Class Fakes

China was not alone in cheating a little at Olympic Games



China attracted international condemnation when it was revealed that pig-tailed Lin Miaoke, who gave a pitch-perfect performance of "Ode to the Motherland" at the Beijing opening ceremony, was mouthing words performed by seven-year-old Yang Peiyi.
Peiyi was deemed to be not pretty enough to perform for a worldwide audience.



China wasn't the first Olympics to cheat a little on the authenticity of its opening ceremony, Australian media reports revealed.
The orchestra which gave a bravura performance at the opening of the Sydney Olympics in 2000 was miming to a tape recording, officials said in reports.

The Sydney Symphony Orchestra, whose stirring performance was one of the highlights of the Sydney opening, mimed to a tape recorded by their members, and others from the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. Melbourne orchestra managing director Trevor Green said pre-recording had been essential to prevent bloopers in a live performance.

"If you've got an event the size of the Olympics, and you've got billions and billions of people watching it, you definitely have a backing track and mime to it, because anything could go wrong," Green said. "It's just a safety first thing...You cannot take the risk."

 

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Olympic condoms

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While Beijing gets ready to welcome thousands of athletes from various nations, cheeky condom adverts have been released in China to coincide with the 2008 Olympic Games.
Themed on Olympics, the adverts show stick-man athletes using condoms as apparatus in Olympic events.

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The adverts, which have become a growing sensation in China, show contraceptives take up a versatile role—standing in as bicycle wheels, basketball nets, archery targets and gymnastic rings, reports Telegraph.

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If this wasn't enough, the ad-makers have used a ribbed condom to exemplify choppy water in the swimming version of the campaign.
Made for Chinese condom-maker Elasun, the adverts show off the broken English slogan "Sports make you health".

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However, it is not the first time that Games are linked with sex, what with Olympic villages veering reputation of hotbeds of after-hours indulgence.

At the 2004 Athens Olympics 130,000 free condoms were made available to athletes and officials.

 

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Illusion

What are you thinking?

 

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China Ah Qua

How dare you say I am not a man??










 

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Toilet in Indonesia

The homeless people of Indonesia doing their cooking.
A place they call HOME

 

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The world's oldest joke




The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as it is today.
The Dave Historical Humour study spent two months trawling the annals of history to produce the first report of its kind into the world's oldest recorded jokes.

1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC – 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)

2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus)

3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)

4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)

5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)

6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)

7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC – 30 BC)

8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was." (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)

9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)

10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

 

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