Special High Intensity Training ( S.H.I.T. ).


Special high intensity training ( S.H.I.T. ).


To: All Employees
From: Vice President
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( S.H.I.T. ). We are
trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they
were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, they are full of
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
( B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. ). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the
S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY
PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

 

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