Why Japanese Win?


The Malaysian and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready.

The Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the Malaysian team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding:
The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the Malaysian team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the Malaysian team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the Malaysian team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the Malaysian corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

 

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Police arrested a Nigerian male goat on suspicion of robbery.


Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.
Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.
"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.
"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," he said.
Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw

Many Nigerians believe that magicians can turn themselves into goats

 

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Babies have six senses

American Babies have six senses
See picture for more understanding below
















 

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Rhymes from grade 5 student




A grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names.

First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.

My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan ,
If I can, If I can, If I can.

"Very good", the teacher said to Dan. She then asked Sally that it was now her turn.

My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can, if I can.

"That is good Sally," the teacher said. "But maybe one day you will change your mind."

Next up was Glenn. He was the naughty one in the class . Here is his rhyme:

My name is Glenn,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan ,
I'm gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can, I can, I can.

 

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Best Job in the World


Desperate to snag what's being billed as the "Best Job in the World," thousands of people from around the globe have submitted video applications to the tourism department of Australia's Queensland state for their latest advertised vacancy - a US$100,000 contract to relax on Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef for six months while writing a blog to promote the island.
With more than a million unique visitors logging onto the website that advertises the gig since it was posted Monday. The department had to upgrade from its one original server to 10 to handle the volume of visitors to the site, which crashed earlier in the week.




The department had already received 2,000 video applications , with tens of thousands more expected before the Feb. 22 deadline.
In exchange for the plush salary, free accommodation in an oceanfront villa and airfare from the winner's home country, the employee will be required to perform such arduous tasks as strolling the island's white sand beaches, snorkelling its crystalline waters and exploring other islands along the reef.



The job is part of a $1.1-million campaign to publicize the charms of northeastern Queensland state and the employee will be required to post videos and photos on a weekly blog to help promote the area.

Apply Now and get the job!!




'Osama bin Laden' applies for dream island job




UPDATE: 24 Feb 2009

More than 34,000 apply for "world's best job"

A total of 34,684 applicants from more than 200 countries have applied for "the best job in the world" -- taking care of tropical Australian Island on the Great Barrier Reef, according to media reports Tuesday.

"This has been a phenomenal response and certainly more than we ever anticipated," said Tourism Queensland chief executive Anthony Hayes.

Up till the deadline the most interest came from the U.S. with 11,565 applicants, followed by Canada with 2,791, Britain 2,262 and Australia 2,064, the government said in a statement.

All candidates are required to submit a video chip in English in about one minute explaining their qualities for the post. The applicants have to be over 18, and be a passionate communicator with fluent English.

The job provides 150,000 Australian dollars (about 100,000 U.S. dollars) for six months and includes free airfares from the successful candidate's home country to the island.

The campaign is a key element in a drive to promote the northeastern Australian state's 18-billion-dollar--year tourism industry during the tough global economic climate.

A list of 50 applicants will be announced on March 2, the final 11 candidates will be flown to the island for interviews from May 3, and the winner will be announced on May 6.

 

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Girl SMS 35,000 Messages a month

Brad Cox of Clermont was surfing the Internet this week when he saw a story about a California girl who had sent and received 14,528 text messages on her cell phone in one month."I laughed and thought, 'That's nothing,' " Cox said.
Cox's 14-year-old daughter, Emilee, hit 35,000 messages a month twice in the past year. Thank goodness for unlimited plans.

14-year-old Emilee


Her peak month was June, when she tallied 35,463 messages, or about 1,182 a day. Assuming she slept eight hours a day, that's about 74 messages an hour, or roughly one coming or going each minute.
"Heyy," Emilee Cox wrote when asked by a Sentinel reporter about her texting through, you guessed it, a text message. "Uhm i'm not sure really. In june i had cheer camp so like alot of my friends had texted me. And when i wasn't at camp i'd text my friends and girls on my team. i don't like talking on the phone so i'd prefer texting people.
"Well it's different things with different people," she wrote. "Like with my cheer friends we talk about cheerleading. Then with friends from school and stuff we'd talk about how our summers were and what we expected high school to be like. And my boyfriend and i talk about random things. He's the main reason my texting is so high becuz we're constantly texting. Lol"

Just before Christmas, Emilee wore out her phone because she was texting so much. Her father switched her to a different provider and got her a phone without a keyboard. That slowed her texting down a little -- she sent 14,083 in December.



As long as his daughter, a ninth-grader, keeps getting good grades at East Ridge High School, he'll let her keep on texting.
"I think there are much worse habits for her to have," said Cox, who clocked 656 text messages of his own in June. "It keeps her from being bored, and it keeps her out of trouble."
Kristin Wallace, a spokeswoman for Sprint, confirmed Emilee's text tally and said Sprint customers average 268 messages a month.
"It's absolutely amazing," Wallace said. "She must have been texting day and night."
A study by Nielsen found that kids ages 13 to 17 on average send and receive 1,742 messages monthly.
Cox might think his daughter has the fastest fingers around, but she's not even close. A man in India reportedly had 182,689 text messages in a month.

 

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Robot secretary

In Japan, people lose their jobs not because of the crisis, but at the whim of the scientists.



Robotic receptionist Saya knows 700 phrases, but will she say sayonara to human secretaries? She won't spread gossip round the office and there's no chance she'll run off with the boss. Meet Saya the secretary, one of the most advanced androids in the world at imitating human behaviour.
She has been developed by researchers in Japan for companies who want to cut costs on receptionists while retaining some kind of human interaction.
Saya is able to talk and respond to questions with up to 300 words and 700 phrases.
She directs visitors to where workers in her office are and can hold a basic conversation.
Yet when she moves her face, which is done by manipulating combinations of 18 different plates under the skin, it becomes clear science has a way to go before it replaces the real thing.
The 'disgust' expression looks remarkably similar to 'sadness' which, whilst problematic, isn't so much of an issue as 'anger', which makes her look like she's having digestive issues.
Her smile looks agonising and somewhat creepy while her general demeanour is that of Gerry Anderson puppet rather than a warm, empathising human.
Saya, developed at the university of Tokyo, is the latest example of robots spreading to every aspect of life in Japan.
They guide traffic, attempt to lure university graduates to sign up to courses and one is even being developed to provide company to Alzheimer's sufferers.
The Japanese government has said that by 2015 it wants a robot in every home and is pouring $35 million (£23million) into robotic intelligence to make it happen.
The push is because of Japan's aging population - in seven years one in four Japanese will be over 65 - which means the workforce is declining.
Robots like Saya are being seen as the solution.



 

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When will your time come?

This mysterious tool will give you the answer to the most important question of your life - when will your time come. Just for Fun lah. Don,t take things too seriously. OK?? Don't wait any longer, go to the Death Form, enter your (or someone else's) details and click calculate. The site will process your data and calculate the Death Date. Have Fun!!

Remember...to laugh out loud







 

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Hitting for world fame and good fortune


A Chinese shop is giving discounts to customers who hit an image of George Bush by throwing shoes. Customers hitting zones A-D can receive a discount from 20% to 50% off at the store in Wenzhou. The activity, with a slogan ‘Hitting for world fame and good fortune,’ was so popular among shoppers that the store had to call police to maintain order. During the first 30 minutes of the special promotion they sold 64 pairs of shoes and earned more £1,000. Several hundred pairs of shoes were sold on the second day.
"We were inspired by the shoe throwing incident in Iraq and hoped customers can get some entertainment while shopping," said the shop owner.














 

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Nigerian wearing pumpkin shells as helmets


Recently the Nigerian Government have passed a law which makes it mandatory for all motorcyclists in Nigeria to wear Helmets. To cope up with the situation Nigerian Bikers have sought out a way by wearing dried pumpkin shells as Helmets.
Police in Nigeria have arrested motorcyle taxi riders attempting to dodge a new law requiring them to wear helmets.
The drivers have been complaining that helmets are too expensive, with some wearing safety hats fashioned from calabash fruit to avoid punishment.
"They use pots, plates, calabashes, rubber and plastic as makeshift helmets," Yusuf Garba, commander of the Federal Road Safety Commission in the northern town of Kano, told Reuters.
Garba added that the law came in on January 1 and motorists should be following it by now. "We will not tolerate this. We gave them enough time to purchase helmets," he said.

"Six months ago the price of helmets was below 800 naira (£3.75) so complaints about non-availability and high prices are no excuse."

 

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Food that causes the most grief


A Doctor was addressing a large audience:

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long- term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."

 

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Special High Intensity Training ( S.H.I.T. ).


Special high intensity training ( S.H.I.T. ).


To: All Employees
From: Vice President
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( S.H.I.T. ). We are
trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they
were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, they are full of
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
( B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. ). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the
S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY
PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

 

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Red Undergarments for Chinese New Year


Auspicious red undergarments has caused a buying fever in Bahau, Negeri Sembilan before Chinese New Year.
An undergarment stall at a local market was surrounded by housewives early in the morning and it turned out that they were actually attracted by eye-catching red undergarments.
Red undergarments printed with creative Chinese auspicious words reminded the public about the approach of Chinese New Year.



The stall also sold red undergarments last year and a female customer joked: “Oh dear! The red rat underpants I bought last year is still new and now I can't help but want to a buy a red ox bra.”
Creative Chinese words printed on red undergarments included mutual affinity, prosperity, good fortune and auspicious ox.
Auspicious red underpants were sold at RM5 each while bras RM15 each. Most of the customers would buy a full set of an underpants and a bra, symbolising completeness and perfection

 

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No Shoes Please

Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.







 

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