Angry wife


The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"

And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."

The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"

 

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Only in China

If you look around on the internet, you'll find numerous references to ants being able to "lift up to 50 times their own weight".
The Chinese just smile indulgently upon learning of this fact. Look at how many things they have learned to carry on a bicycle at one time!









 

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Do you hope the beef bikini trend catches on?



Just when you thought Lady Gaga was out of outrageous outfits, she has come back with a fresh outfit ready to court a bigger controversy.

The renowned singer recently appeared in the Vogue Hommes Japan Vol. 5, wearing a bikini made entirely out of raw meat. The singer is well known for sporting bizarre outfits (both on and off-stage), but this time she has gone a bit too far.

In the alleged picture, Gaga is shown nearly nude posing with her blond hair drawn back. The singing diva covers her modesty with raw chunks of meat in the controversial photograph. Quite expectedly, the photograph has drawn the wrath of PETA, who condemned the bikini and said that it was unethical to say the least.

PETA is well known for snubbing and suing celebrities who dare to sport fur coats, suede jackets in the name of fashion. Thanks to her new outfit, it seems Lady Gaga has painted a big "Bull's Eye" on her back for PETA. The PETA president said that Lady Gaga is well known for being outlandish but her latest misdemeanor is downright unforgivable.

The PETA president went on record to say "Meat is something you want to avoid putting on or in your body." We are sure that PETA's rants will not stop Lady Gaga as she might give them her "Poker Face" for these remarks.




MORE UPDATE

Pop star Lady Gaga has made the headlines again for wearing a dress made of slabs of meat to the MTV Video Music Awards in LA. So what is she trying to say with her latest creation?

It could be art, it could be fashion, it might even be just an attention-grabbing stunt.








When pop star Lady Gaga turned up to the MTV Music Video Awards ceremony wearing a dress apparently made of meat - with matching bag, fascinator and shoes - millions were left baffled and intrigued in equal measure.

The dress has invoked the fury of animal rights group Peta, as well as accusations that it could not surely have been made of real meat (Gaga insists it was).





But the garment has also provoked a flurry of head-scratching from pundits attempting to work out what it means. Is it a defiant feminist gesture? An artistic statement? A commentary on the fashion world? All of these, or none of them?

Speaking after the awards, Gaga said the dress was open to "many interpretations" - including, she said, a statement about the US military's attitude to homosexuals. Here, a range of experts offer their thoughts.


Lady Gaga wins eight MTV Video Music Awards

Lady Gaga dominated the MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles taking home eight prizes including video of the year.

The singer, 24, who won seven of her "moon man" trophies for Bad Romance, cried as she picked up the top award from Cher at the end of the night.

"I was so nervous tonight that I'd let my fans down," she said.

LADY GAGA'S AWARDS

* Best collaboration - Telephone featuring Beyonce
* Video of the year - Bad Romance
* Best pop video - Bad Romance
* Best female video - Bad Romance
* Best dance music video - Bad Romance
* Best choreography - Bad Romance
* Best direction - Bad Romance
* Best editing - Bad Romance

 

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Nothing on you Music Video remix



Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Coz they got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby

Not not not nothing on you babe
Not not nothing on you
I know you feel where I'm coming from
Regardless of the things in my past that I've done
Most of really was for the hell of the fun
On the carousel so around I spun (spun)
With no directions just tryna get some (some)
Tryna chase skirts, living in the summer sun (sun)
This is how I lost more than I had ever won
And honestly I ended up with none

There's no much nonsense
It's on my conscience
I'm thinking baby I should get it out
And I don't wanna sound redundant
But I was wondering if there was something that you wanna know
(That you wanna know)
But never mind that we should let it go (we should let it go)
Cos we don't wanna be a t.v episode (t.v episode)
And all the bad thoughts just let them go (go, go, go)

Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Cos they got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby

Not not not nothing on you babe
Not not nothing on you
Hands down there will never be another one
I been around and I never seen another one
Look at your style they ain't really got nothing on
And you out and you ain't got nothing on
Baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxes
And you keep it real while them other stay plastic
You're my wonder women call me Mr. fantastic
Stop... now think about it

I've been to London, I've been to Paris
Even went out there to Tokyo
Back home down in Georgia to new Orleans
But you always steal the show (steal the show)
And just like that girl you got me fro (got me fro)
Like a Nintendo 64 (64)
If you never knew well now you know (know, know, know)

Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Cos they got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby

Not not not nothing on you babe
Not not nothing on you
Everywhere I go I'm always hearing your name (name, name)
And no matter where I'm at girl you make me wanna sing (sing)
Whether a bus or a plane or a car or a train
No other girls in my brain and you the one to blame

Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Cos they got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby

Not not not nothing on you babe
Not not nothing on you
Yeah and that's just how we do it
And I'ma let this ride
B O B and Bruno Mars

 

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