Never cheat on a tattoo artist.

CASE NO.1

Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald from Dayton, OH was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent. She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Apparently, Ryan found out that Rossie had cheated with a long-time friend of his, but instead of confronting her about it he acted like everything was normal and hatched a plan for revenge. Originally, Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault, but the ingenious tattoo artist had covered his bases by plying Rossie with wine and tequila shots and getting her to sign a consent form that stated the design was “at the artist’s discretion.”

No word from Rossie on whether the illicit night of passion with Ryan’s friend was worth it. Moral of the story? Never cheat on a tattoo artist.




CASE NO. 2

Man who tattooed unwanted penis on another man's back is jailed

An amateur tattoo artist in Australia who drew an unwanted 40cm penis on another man's back has been jailed for three months. Ipswich District Court heard Matthew Francis Brady, 22, was asked by the victim to etch a Chinese Yin and Yang symbol with a dragon and tiger on his back.



But Brady instead inked the crude image and then bashed the victim when he was finished. Crown prosecutor Nici Schmitt said on the day in question, October 18 last year, at Ebbw Vale, Brady convinced the victim to go ahead with the tattoo. When the victim complained it was hurting, Brady insisted he keep going.

AN AMATEUR tattoo artist who drew an unwanted 40cm penis on another man's back will spend three months in jail for his actions.

The court heard Brady started drawing the circle for the Yin and Yang, which he then turned into testicles, a penis and a slogan implying the man was gay because Brady had taken offence to a comment the victim made. Brady told the victim to keep the tattoo covered for a few weeks but the man showed a friend and they contacted police. The court heard the victim had moved away because he was too scared to stay. A tattoo parlour later covered up the penis for free.

Brady pleaded guilty to assault occasioning bodily harm while armed, assault occasioning bodily harm and performing a high-risk service without holding an infection control qualification. Defence barrister John McInnes said Brady had a disadvantaged background. He was sentenced to 12 months in prison, suspended after three months, and three years probation.

 

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Bikini-Clad Woman Searches for Pet Dog

A woman took to the streets Wednesday to find her lost Chihuahua, and she won't clothe herself or eat until the dog comes home.



Arlene Mossa Corona, a 20-year-old college student living in San Diego, Calif., spent the better part of last week on a hunger strike, dressed in a skimpy bikini on a street corner, in a desperate effort to find her lost Chihuahua, Chispita.

Though Corona still hasn't found her dog, she may have found herself a stalker.

Chispita disappeared from Corona's La Jolla apartment complex over a week ago. After a thorough search of the neighborhood and local animal shelters and a visit to a pet psychic turned up nothing, Corono perched herself at a busy intersection, wearing nothing but a bikini and high heels.




The petite, fit student thought the stunt would attract the attention of passerby, and that one of them might recognize Chipita from the large poster Corona held above her head. The sign included the message, "America is bringing home our troops for the holidays La Jolla/Please help me bring my dog home too!" Another sign at Corona's feet promised that she would not eat until Chispita came home.

Corona skipped her own family's Thanksgiving celebration to continue her campaign.




"She means everything to me," Corona told NBC San Diego of her dog. "She's all I have. She's like the only family I have over here."

Though Chispita still hasn't turned up, the controversial campaign has come to a halt after attracting the wrong kind of attention.

A man who identified himself as "Merl" contacted the desperate dog owner on Friday, claiming that his daughter had taken the Chihuahua. Corona was temporarily hopeful until she realized the man was seeking sexual favors: He emailed her a picture of a dog he said was Chispita, and then emailed her a photo of his genitals.





"I was like oh my God this is so scary, I was like shaking, and I was like maybe he really does have my dog, or maybe he's just a creep," Corona told NBC San Diego.

But Corona later concluded the dog in the photo was not hers.

Later Friday, Corona received another lead, which also turned out to be false -- and in all likelihood generated from the same person. Corona was on her way to meet someone who sent her a text message claiming a neighbor had her dog, when she found that the phone number provided went to the same voicemail as "Merl."

"This is turning into something that I didn't think it would," a tearful Corona told NBC San Diego.


 

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Justin Bieber's dream and fashion

It looks like Justin Bieber's dream of a large family begins to come true.

So what do you think of Justin's pink underwear - are they extremely silly, or should the Biebs be applauded for embracing a color with such a girly stigma attached to it? Or do you just think he needs to pull his pants up?

 

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Dog drives double-decker bus in Darwin

Phil Newton could not believe his eyes when he saw a dog driving a 20-tonne, double-decker bus through Darwin's industrial zone. "I thought, 'What the ... '!" he said. "This was weird, even for the Territory." Mr Newton, 30, said the dog was sitting in the driver's seat with its paws on the steering wheel.


He chased after the runaway bus, leapt through an open window and rammed on the handbrake. "It ran for a couple of hundred metres, swerved across the road, went up on the footpath and was just about to run into a parked car when I stopped it," he said. Woodley, a two-year-old German koolie, was unrepentant.

His owner, Richard McCormack, 62, said: "He sits next to me when I'm driving and in the driver's seat when I'm not. The handbrake is on the dashboard and he's seen me release it many times.He was just copying me. He's tried it on before." Mr McCormack parked his massive mobile home in Winnellie Rd, which runs down a slight hill, and popped into a yard to inquire about repair work.


He was gone only a couple of minutes, but that was enough for Woodley to go for a spin. "I came out and saw the bus going down the road. I couldn't believe it," he said. Mr McCormack, who is fixing up his bus for a tour around Australia, said he would adjust the handbrake to stop Woodley doing a repeat performance. "He's still my best mate," he said.

 

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Marriage Jokes


-Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman


-There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it

-Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

-Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash

-Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."

-Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

-Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

-Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

- A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"


- Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

- A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."

-Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

-Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

-Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

-It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

- It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !

-A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.

-If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

-Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

-There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage

-Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead!

 

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